Should you find someone to talk to?

In the past 7 years as a counsellor I’ve noticed something that I want to share with you.

 

Some of my clients have a lot of friends and supportive family around them. They still have the need to talk to someone else. This is very common. 

 

When we have the support of our family and friends we usually feel safe and protected. We feel that whatever happens will be okay. But when a difficult situation emerges, the safe feeling can feel insufficient.

 

A client of mine sat down on my office couch and said:
I can’t talk to my family about this because they are too emotional. I can’t deal with that. And I can’t talk to my friends about this because they all know each other and I can’t trust they will keep this to themselves.

 

So, there we were.

 

The client was in a safe and confidential environment where she could finally open up. She started from the beginning and talked about all the things that have been happening over the years.

 

Related: What to expect from a counselling session

 

It’s common to have things you don’t want to share with your family or friends. It can be helpful to talk to someone you know and trust but sometimes you may feel more comfortable confiding in someone who is more objective. 

 

Usually it’s not just one thing that is bothering a person when they seek counselling. Often it is a multitude of things, bigger and smaller which have been building up over time.

 

If we keep our deepest thoughts to ourselves, those thoughts can grow bigger and bigger over time and eventually be the only things we can really focus on. We feel how everything is just a big mess with no exit.

 

When we have suppressed thoughts and feelings, they can eventually affect our bodies and weaken our immune system. We can have many physical problems: changes in appetite, extreme tiredness, general aches and pains, sexual problems, shortness of breath, stiff neck, upset stomach, weight gain or loss (Read more).

 

If you have the need to talk to someone outside your family and friends, you are not turning your back on them. You are taking care of yourself and seeking the right kind of help and support that you need. You can always talk to your therapist in confidence.

 

Need to talk? You can contact me in confidence here.